James walked along the streets, heading for home. He was lucky he got that flash of inspiration when he did (this was a funny joke that the League Of God's (L.O.G.'s) had put in, the lightning bolt was actually a "flash of inspiration". This is how special people are given their destinies. The first vampire slayer, the mages, prophets, the disciples, anyone who is selected by their God for some divine task, is told though one of these flashes. On occasion they did forget to turn the voltage down when contacting mere mortals, this always caused a giggle upstairs.).

So James was walking back to where he knew his home was, he didn't know what it was like, just that it was his home. He heard someone fall into something metal from a side alley, he could hear fighting too.

"Die you toothy git!" James heard and was instantly filled with joy. He knew that voice. He ran over to the alley to see a girl fighting off about half a dozen big, evil looking (and for want of a better word) dudes. She spun and plunged something pointy into the chest of one and they disappeared. She then sent her foot at high velocity into the generally area of one of the evil peoples genitalia. James twinged and let out an audible "ooh" of sympathy. James produced his somewhat shiny toy and then put his toy car back in his pocket, he then got out his horse sword and tapped one of the creatures on the back. He spun round ready to attack.

"Dear lord you guys are ugly" James let slip out. The evil guy, who looked somewhat harder than James, glowered and James took this as his que to start fighting. He brought the blunt end of the pole swiftly up into the vampires neck sending him a good ten-foot up into the air. He landed with a crunch of bones and got straight back up. He ran at James who twirled his weapon round (ooer) and the vampire ran straight into the sharp end. James gave it a bit of momentum forward and stepped to the side. The entire length of metal and wood drifted with ease through the demon and when the vampire slid cleanly off the other end he crumbled to dust.

"Stylish!" came a deep voice from behind James.

"I thought so" he cut in without turning round. He plunged the stick backward through the heart of the mouthy one who just replied "Oh shite!" and followed suit of his brother and crumbled to dust.

"This is my patch" said the human, female voice rather angrily.

"I know that" James said turning to face Sara.

"JAMES!" she shouted and gave him a huge hug. James hugged back.

"How long have I been out?" asked James.

"About two months. What took you so long?"

"It was a rough ride down. And the welcoming committee left a lot to be desired!"

"Ahh, I'll have to speak to Ruth about that."

"Ruth's here too? Can you fill me in on the way home? I need coffee"

"Oh yes please" Sara answered to what she saw as an offer.

As they made their way back to James' home Sara explained that she had become a slayer and was spending most of her time, well, slaying. Ruth was her watcher and was currently trying to decipher a manuscript that was found in a toilet at school. She went on to explain that most of the heavenly bodies were demons but there were a few who were still on their side.

"Apparently there's a small group of people who have extreme powers, but without the key to the manuscript, they'd never know the truth" Sara finished as the arrived at a grim block of flats. They got in to the lift and James pressed for the top floor. As the got out they arrived in the landing of a penthouse, not that it counted for much. James pushed the front door open and they went in. They came back out and looked round and then went back in.

Inside it was lushly decorated, colourful, stylish and modern. A total contrast to the concrete hellhole that they had just come through.

"Wow" I must have got short changed said Sara in totally amazement.

"I know I landed on my back, but I think I've landed on my feet!" James replied. He made a coffee and they sat and talked about who had become what. School was still in session and it was declared that whilst at school there were to be not fights or anything that involved any of their real lives. There was special dispensation for vampires that were, during term time only, cured from combusting in sunlight. Sara went on to explain about how many normal people had been turned to evil as there are more evil beings than good ones and the balance has tipped in their favour.

"So, do we know what happened up above?" James queried.

"Not yet, Ruth assumes that it's all in the manuscript" Sara stared deep into her coffee, well actually into her fourth coffee.

After an hour of searching James found the TV remote (on the TV) and was just about to turn it on when the porch buzzer buzzed. He gave Sara a puzzled look and lifted the phone.

"Yes?" he asked

"Parcel for Mr. J Egam" the phone replied.

"Shut up" James hissed at the phone, "I can't hear the man speaking! Sorry, could you speak up a bit please?"

"Ahem, Parcel for Mr. J Egam!" the voice replied a little louder.

"Told you!" said the phone as-a-matter-of-factly.

"You're a phone, shut up!" James sniped.

"Sorry sir?" said the voice.

"Erm, can you leave it on the door step, I'm a bit busy at the moment" James tried.

"hmm hmmmhm mmhhp mhpmpmphm mhpmh" The phone scowled at Sara who was trying to keep it quiet.

"I need it signed for" the response came.

"Ok one moment" James was being as polite as possible, he put the phone back in it's place (it then sulked for being told off) and put the handset back on it's hook. When he got to the door there was indeed a parcel for him, but holding that was a vampire.

"You killed my brother," it said.

"He ran onto my horse sword!" James replied and bowed. The vampire had just enough time to swear to himself before the steak plunged into his heart. James caught the parcel and the steak and turned to talk to Sara.

"The old ones are the best eh?"

"I've always wanted to do that" Sara boasted as she swept up the dust.

"Ok but don't get too used to it!"

As James and Sara walked back to the sofa James gave the phone a dirty look, in return the phone buzzed at him.

"You mind you language!" warned Sara.

James opened the box and cleared the bubble wrap to find a small, metallic box. In it was some light blue powder and a note saying, "Sprinkle on text".

"I think I've got the key!" James said to Sara. No reply. He turned and saw that Sara was engrossed by the bubble wrap.

"Pop, pop, pop, pop" Sara went as the bubble wrap did the same.

"I'm going to bed now!" he tried to get Sara to listen but she was lost in a world of pop.

When James got up the next morning Sara has big red eyes and was desperately searching for one last bubble.

"Aren't you finished yet?"

"Shush" Sara whispered.

POP!

"Ok, I'm done now" she got up and rubbed her eyes back to normal, she stretched and was ready for another day at school.

James and Sara walked to school. It was the same school, with the same people, just in a different location. It was like part of urban America meets London meets Sheffield. To say the least, it was bizarre. James was feeling rather on edge, new school type feeling but Sara just dragged him along like it was any other day. She'd settled into her new role really well and was enjoying it, probably a little too much. Take this morning for example, though there used to be a school uniform, the teachers didn't have much say any more, for fear of their lives. Homework was something that all the teachers set but none of them ever dared to ask for it in when it didn't arrive. It was a bit like a fantasy school, only not many students ever fantasised about going to school with the spawn of Satan. Some did but we shall not go any further into this, for obvious reasons.

So James and Sara arrived at school (what a coincidence) and, as it happened, they were both in the same form, but sadly, had taken different subjects. James was to study chemistry, maths and physics whilst Sara focused on art, history and English literature.

James, after much explaining of where he had been for the last two months (Outer Mongolia was his first and best explanation) he made his way to his first lesson. He introduced himself to his teacher and after assuring her that he wasn't going to curse, devour, impale or mame her, he located himself in an empty seat by a sink (well it would have been odd to sit in a full seat by a small wicker display portraying the struggles of jam makers in the early 12^th century). A few minutes into the tutorial on "ethers" a group of stragglers came in, loudly.

They each swaggered to their seats and one made his way toward James.

"Your in my seat!" it said in a confrontational manner that depicted the struggles of jam makers in the early 12^th century.

"Oh! I am sorry. Would you like me to move?" James chastised.

"YEAH"

"Well tough!"

"Stand your ground…" whispered the girl who was sat on the other side of the sink.

"Move or be moved" it threatened.

"Ok so maybe it was your seat but I'm sat here now and as of the moment it is my seat and I don't particularly care if you are the latest incarnation of Cleopatra herself I'm not moving and for your information it's "You're" not "Your"" James fired back.

The swaggerer swaggered to a different seat suitably far from the newbie.

"Well done!" whispered the girl.

"And in one breath too!" James whispered back.

The tutorial continued without further contribution from the class (much to the annoyance of the teacher) and soon (but not soon enough from the points of views of the students) ended.

Angus was sleeping now. Content with his massive amount of destruction and name remembering he decided to sleep through his digestion. This would take a few months; the one main problem with this was that he snored. Loudly. Scientists have put a lot of things that they don't understand down to "solar flares" or other such events. These are not at all true! You all know how upsetting sleeping with a snoring problem can be, now you know how planets react, the odd blackout, earthquake, flood; it's all retaliation.

The students got their stuff together, grouped and departed. James was currently struggling to get his folder into his bag.

"You did that rather impressively" said the girl from the other side of the sink.

"Oh, thank you"

"I'm Michelle" the girl extended a hand. James took it upon his own and gently raised it to his lips (small electric moment). As he looked up to her she blushed.

"I'd better go" he hurried as he glanced at his watch. "I need to find Ruth".

"Oh, I'm on my way to the library too! We can go together!" Michelle was sounding more hopeful than she ever had before.

"Sure" said James trying to act cool.

"You seem very confident, if you don't mind me saying" said Michelle trying to kill the void in conversation as they walked.

"It's something I've discovered recently about myself. I've been feeling much more able to defend my life from everyone".

"Well you have the mark so it's clear that you are special"

"What?" James was truly puzzled.

"Look, the back of your hand, you're got the mark".

"I don't think I'm totally understanding exactly what you are saying".

"It doesn't matter Ruth'll explain". James and Michelle walked in silence the rest of the way. It was only a short silence as they only had five yards to go.

As the passed through the doors (a trick well handled by the FX department) Michelle turned to the right and Sara pulled James to the left. She marched him between the shelves to a small office in the back. In there was Ruth from the previous world, but slightly different. She looked older and had black hair now.

"What happened?" James asked in totally disbelief of what he was seeing.

"I don't know. A curse I think. I was bitten in the last world and spent about the last eight years as a vampire, I suppose it caught up with me during the change."

"Quite ironic really" Sara chipped in from behind "from being one to fighting them."

"What can I do for you then?" Ruth continued, oblivious to what Sara had just said.

"I believe I have something you want""

"Well all I want is the key to the script and I don't think that you have that!"

"As a matter of fact, I have!"

"You have? Really?" both Sara and Ruth were aghast.

"May I see the manuscript?" he continued.

"How do I know I can trust you?" Ruth eyed James up suspiciously.

"He has the mark!" Sara confirmed.

"What is all this about "the mark" and why don't I know about it? Would somebody please tell me what's going on!"

"It can wait!" Ruth snapped "Where's the key?"

"Where's the manuscript?"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"Show me the key!"

"Show me the manuscript!"

"There you go, and there you go" Interrupted Sara (and not a moment too soon). Sara had gone and got the manuscript and removed the key from James' possession. They all looked in wonder at what lay before them. After a few short, well-directed, comments they sprinkled the blue powder over the manuscript. The ink whirled as impressively as the budget would allow and settled into place leaving the word in modern day English.

[Now, as you can probably imagine this manuscript is very long and somewhat complicated so I shall skip the bulk and fill you in on the key point as they arise. Firstly it was long. And complicated.]

"Akuma, akuma, itaru tokoroni!" James muttered under his breath.

"Indeed" Sara replied "And not a drop to drink". Many memories flooded back to them both and they laughed (for about an hour).

"So let me get this straight" James was feeling a slight bit confused "there are four mages, who are the key to the future of the universe?"

"Yes" Ruth answered.

"And they alone determine its direction?"

"Yes"

"But two are evil, and two are good?"

"That is correct"

"And there is another, neutral mage?"

"Yup"

"And each has a place to research their spells and learn to fight with their special weapon, defined by the mark they are given?"

"Well done, but that is new information to use. We didn't know that the marks had any significance geographically"

"Right"

"Ok"

"Spot on"

"Get it?"

"Got it"

"Good"

"Superb"

"I'm with you now"

"But who exactly am I? I totally forgot who was speaking"

"Well, I'm me so I'll say I'm Ruth"

"Ok, so I'm James?"

"Yes and I'm Sara"

"Then why am I wearing your clothes?"

"Clearly I'm you and you're Ruth!"

"But if I'm Ruth and you're me then she's Sara!"

"Look, don't get involved Michelle!"

"I'm not Michelle! I'm James, I think!"
"No, you're Ruth"

"No, I'm Sara. You're Michelle, you're James and you're Ruth"

"Ok, so I'm James, you're Michelle, she's Ruth and you're Sara?"
"Now I'm just confused"

"You're telling me"

"No she was"

"But she's James"

"No he's James"

"You're James?"

"No, I'm Michelle, he's James"

"No, he's James"

"Oh I'm gonna flip!"

"Who's Philip?"

"No not Philip, flip"

"Oh, so there is no Philip"

"No"

"Just James"

"And Michelle and Ruth and Sara"

"YES!"

"Ahhhhhh, so I'm not James"

"No, you're not James, you're Sara"

"Sooooo I'm either Michelle or Ruth!"

"Well I'm Michelle so you're Ruth"

"Ok! So…I'm James, you're Michelle, you're Ruth and she's Sara?"

"Yes"

"No, I can't be Ruth, I have a mark and if I have a mark then I'm either James or Michelle!"

"Sorry, my fault, I'm not James, I'm Ruth!"

"So, I'm James and you're Ruth?"

"Yes, easy mistake to make!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, partly because I'm still not sure who I am!"

"Right, so, let's agree! I'm Sara, you're Michelle, you're Ruth and you're James!"

"Yes"

"Yes…"

"Yes!"

"…I think"

"Then if I'm Michelle, he's James, she's Sara and she's Ruth who's he?"

"Oh, that's Philip"

"Right, well, I'm glad we got that one sorted".

Meanwhile in a dark, damp basement somewhere exactly beneath the chemistry labs Paul and Roxanne were planning. Well they would have been planning if Paul hadn't knelt in a small patch of mixed concentrated sulfuric and nitric acid and burned a hole into his leg. Remarkably his trousers were fine, despite the orange spot on them.

"You could put one on the other side to match" Roxanne suggested "Or maybe not" she added when she saw the look on Paul's face.

"Oh it's a pity, now I'm gonna have to kill some poor, unfortunate soul, in pain, in need, this on longing to be thinner, that on e wants to get the girl and do I help them? NO THEY ALL SHALL DIE!"

"Horribly?"

"Oh yes, very horribly!"

"Oh I do enjoy that terribly!" Both Paul and Roxanne laughed and the totally pathetic in-joke.

"The old ones are the best, eh?"

"They sure are boss!"

A few hours (of further laughter and a minor bit of planning) passed and dusk was beginning to creep into the corners of all things bad. Well I say all things I actually mean many things. Well I say many things but this was the 90's and for most evil beings and demons in general, it was widely accepted that the streets were "common and really quite disgusting". As many of the "it" people were demons and evil beings this was the reasoning necessary to explain why evil being and demons lived in nice, tidy, stylish, places.

So, dusk had started lurking the corners and behind some evil looking props, such as bins and the odd, large pile of garbage and the occasional "it" person trying so hard to trace their ancestry (which wasn't really that hard considering the wonders of modern technology).

The one particular individual we shall focus on was called Andrew. He was rooting under some rotting cabbages, trying to find something. What it was we shall never know as Sara dropped from the sky (well an overhead fire escape but saying that ruins the effect) and landed stealthily. The poor, poor fool that Andrew had always been continued to rummage, blissfully unaware of his impending fate. Sara produced a steak (of the wooden variety) and promptly plunged it through the back of the evil one's heart. He turned in horror so see Sara standing over him.

"Never upset my friends again!" she enunciated and he fell to the floor with much laughter happening all around him. Suddenly he sat bolt upright in his bed. He was sweating heavily and was still in bed, panting. He laid back and let his heart regain it's poise. Wiping the sweat from his forehead he got up and opened the curtains to a land of night.

"Oh goodie!" he said standing in the moonlight "time for some action".

"Do you have to make so much noise when you wake up!" came the voice of a drowsy Mark who was sharing his Andrews room.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. It's a lovely night, we really shouldn't waste it!"

"No you're right, we really shouldn't". Mark pushed his bed clothes aside and swung his legs out of bed. "You know, you look really sexy stood there with the moonlight reflecting off your body!"

"I can tell you like it!" Andrew replied nodding towards a rather prominent peak (as it were).

"So what're you gonna do about it then?" he replied playfully. In response Andrew crossed the room and…

[I shall leave the rest of the next hour all in the mind of the reader. You may be thinking they had sex or you may be thinking that they both died in a freakish accident involving a Satanic chicken. You may even be thinking something very different indeed. Well if so you are wrong, on all counts. They actually sat down and had a very stimulating (as it were) game of chess. Mark's "peak" was actually the king from an antique Louis XVI chess-set that had somehow found its way into the bed (well what else was it going to be (HONESTLY, SOME PEOPLE!))]

Mark and Andrew ran into a disused chair warehouse where they were supposed to meet Paul and Roxanne a quarter of an hour ago.

"Sorry we're late we…"

"Chess?" Paul interrupted.

"Yes, and I won. Again!" Mark announced triumphantly.

"Oh Andy! Did you leave your queen unguarded again!"

"Yes Roxy" Andrew slouched as he confessed his failure.

"Will you never learn!" she replied, harshly. Paul slammed his mace into an old chair. Well I say into a chair but I feel that through a chair would be a better description.

"Enough" he commanded "down to business"

After a long discussion about "the business" they were to attend to that night they had another chess training session followed by a quick orgy, a swift drink and then the arrangement of a few chairs. Just incase they had any visitors. It really was quite lucky that they did organize the chairs a by a pure stroke of luck (and genius of the author) they were blessed with guests.

The door to the warehouse (not the whorehouse, that's another story altogether) was suddenly rattled by a loud banging (again I said warehouse not whorehouse!). Paul, Roxanne, Andrew and Mark eyed it suspiciously as if they were questioning the very existence of that very door. After a very short pause there was another very loud banging that sounded very demanding. Mark got up in a very evil way and walked over to the very large, very evil looking door. He opened the very peepy peephole and looked out. Very anxiously he reported to the others that a very angry bunch of parents had formed a mob and were very intent on speaking to Paul. So he said to let them in. Very dramatically Mark opened the very large, very evil looking door letting out a very rather scary creak. The angry mob swept their way in with one very mobbish sweeping action.

"We want to speak to you!" snapped the lead female, who was looking very angry indeed.

"Well, feel very free to" Paul taunted.

"We all feel very strongly to how you are keeping all these chairs to yourself! It just isn't very fair or very polite. We need to have something to sit on that is more comfortable than our very uncomfortable floor" the lead male demanded.

"Very well" Paul conceded "have them. They aren't very useful in here anyway!"

"Oh, thank you, that's very kind" the lead female was somewhat surprised with how Paul caved. Unsuspectingly the mob moved forward, lead by the very confident male and female speakers. As the lead female got level with Paul he very unsurprisingly swung his mace through her and she very much disappeared to the very horrific horror of the rest of the mob, which had begun to resemble a flock. There was very suddenly a very loud bang as the very large, very evil looking door was slammed at a very, very high velocity. Then the bolt very magically locked themselves. Mark grinned, he liked that part of the book. The parents looked at one another in terror, all at once they went to head off in opposite directions, and it was now that the chairs started to show their worth.

The chairs somehow managed to be very much in the way of anyone who was trying to escape, which was everyone apart from those who were doing their best to kill the ones who were, if you get what I mean. A small group of intelligent adults were trying to un-bolt the door, with very little success.

Suddenly a blade came through the door, startled the adults dropped back. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked. The blade made a few more incisions, with little resistance. The cut section of the very large, very evil looking door fell to the very dusty floor and a cloud of very dusty dust rose upward, obscuring the view. As the dust cleared the outline of a person was visible, highlighted by the light of the very full moon. Spearing the sky above the figure was the blade of a scythe, it was very evil, very large and very, very sharp to look at.

"Our saviour!" one of the adults wailed as they rushed forward to their safety. As they moved the blade seemed to disappear for a second then return. The adult stopped moving and slid apart from the middle into two halves. The moonlight glinted off the very evil, very large and very, very sharp blade and the letters GAP could be seen, etched into the very evil, very large and very, very sharp weapon.

A grin extended from under the robe of the newly appointed evil one and the massacre continued, all but a few of the parents died in the next few moments and the ones that remained didn't last that long either!

At the end of the battle the scythed, hooded one made their way over to Paul.

"Very impressive! I like your style" Paul complimented.

"Thanks," say the figure "I hear you're the head honcho of the evil ones around here. Is that so?"

"Oh yes, the very evil ones"

"Good! I want in. The other mages need to be erased from this world, then we can truly have it for evil and evil only!"

"Well, you seem evil enough. What did you say you name was?" Paul was feeling flattered. The figure removed its hood and underneath it was a young woman. She was hard looking and had very dark, spiked hair.

"I'm Theresa, the nether mage. I take you are Paul, eradication!" Paul took her hand and kissed it lightly.

"Charmed" he said. Theresa smacked him to the floor

"Don't touch what you can't afford!" she spun round and walked off. I shall be at the next meeting, and then she was gone. Mark sidled over to Roxanne who was looking particularly unimpressed.

"You look like you hate her!" he said.

"Oh, I don't hate her. I just want to rip out her beating heart and have it as an afternoon snack"

"So you're jealous?"

"Yes!"

"Very?"

"Very!".