Peter was sat in a large room on his own sulking. Now, none of you readers know who Pete is so I shall explain…

After the change of worlds Pete found himself the soul owner of a very large property. He had no parents, siblings or family ties, just a very big house and a beautiful garden, an oddly shapen birthmark and the ability to get plants, shrubs and trees to do as he wished. Just as he was trying to perfect his newest kitchen plant (the Beerium on Tapsicle plant none the less) there was an ear shattering explosion and then nothing.

The radio announcer finished his report in time and then he was no more.

The world was under attack, not from earthlings, or aliens, or pixies but by Satan himself. The battle wasn't very long and the population was slowly falling into hell.

After an hour only the mages were left.

James B the Phantasm mage, James C the Eradication mage, Michelle the Ascendant mage and Theresa the Nether mage. The battle was long and showed few signs of ending anytime soon. Satan couldn't do much here, his was not his department, instead he was planning his torture and pain schedules for the very busy following millennia.

Theresa swung her scythe menacingly at Michelle, this seemed like a good idea but Michelle (who had already broken a nail and was having a bad hair day) was getting angrier. She dodged (impressively) and swung back with her samurai sword. It cut the very existence of time and clipped half the blade from the scythe. The liberated piece fell to the floor with a tinkle and then evolved into a rat and scurried off. Theresa, somewhat upset by this fought back.

James and James were in the midst of a slanging match, I shan't enlighten you on their exact words but let's just say it wasn't exactly savoury. The rat scuttled past James B, he grabbed it and threw it into James C's open mouth as he was casting another fiery attack. Stunned (naturally) James C swallowed and then looked very worried indeed. James B (an avid viewer of Celebrity Deathmatch) had seen this move before. It was the ultimate Black Death attack. James C fell to the floor and Theresa noticed, running to his side she held him in her arms.

"Fight them to the end" he horsed at her and began to glow red. Theresa looked to James B and Michelle "Now you will see what evil is really all about. Theresa started to glow black (which was impressive in itself). The two melded together and a new figure arose in their place. It was twice their collective size and twice all their original proportions. One of it's arms was a scythe and the other (unimaginatively) was a mace.

James B and Michelle looked on aghast. Satan made an entrance now.

"VERY IMPRESSIVE" he said (I can't think of another adverb).

The new being turned on Satan and with one evil breath he crumbled. Hell imploded and all the souls within it ceased to exist. Due to the laws of conservation of energy Heaven did the same (this was less impressive as there were fewer souls there).

The creature looked down on the earth and it imploded neatly in on itself.

It was the war for the galaxy.

James and Michelle were trying to join but it was failing. They'd tried holding hands, running into each other even kissing but other than feeling much happier about the situation they still were two separate sort of mortals (in comparison anyway). The creature turned on James B and sent a black fireball hurtling into his chest. James reeled back and crashed into Venus. Stunned James looked up but only saw a very confusing image of the entire surface of the planet, he was stuck there. Michelle soon joined him, then the creature made it a nice little threesome.

After some having bashing the creature imploded Venus and sent the two lesser mages hurtling through Mercury and was grinning at the prospect of the sun. It mutated it's mace into a hand and grabbed Michelle. "Goodbye BITCH!" it hissed in a roaring kind of way. It drew its arm back and Michelle singed her way into the flaming ball of eternal suntan. It then grabbed James, who had other plans.

As it pulled him back James stuck his horse sword into it's hand and used all his energy to try and hurt it, when James ran out of energy his body went limp and the creature laughed and hurtled James after Michelle.

It laughed loudly as it drew Pluto into a rather large equivalent cosmic gin and tonic. The sun went black. The creature spun round to see the sun's perimeter start to slowly creep inwards. The more it encroached on itself the faster it moved. When the sides met each other there was a flash that blinded the evil one.

When it came back round (all of a few thousands of a second later) before it was a large glowing figure, equal in proportion to itself. IT breathed in and all the stars, planets and suns filled it's lungs and it glowed even brighter. The dark figure narrowed it's red eye slits and grew in size. The two bodies lowered them selves and got read for battle.

Projectile after light beam after slash after swipe after kick after scratch after hair pull (care of Michelle) after bash reigned down on each of the creatures. The two then got into a grip and tried to throw the other on off. Both pushing heavy spells forward they recoiled away from each other, like particles in a physics experiment.

They both turned to each other and lowered their heads. They launched towards each other and speeds unimaginable to any conceivable creature (they would have been velocities but there was no way to determine direction due to the lack of reference points). As they moved toward each other they accelerated and as they met there was an almighty flash as their masses enveloped one another.

Their collective state shrank and sucked all of the nothing that surrounded them in, every atom, molecule and every sub-atomic particle. Every undiscovered sub-sub-particle particle was brought in, every millimeter of space was taken in.

The resulting blob shrank to almost nothing. Where there were billions there was nothing. Where there was something there was nothing.

The blob seemed to move to separate poles and split, then there were two.

Then the attraction between them pulled them back together…

…and then there was one.