The whole get a drink thing didn't work until about a quarter of an hour after James and Paul had arrived. People kept on getting in the way, well it was more of people want to talk and look at what you were wearing. James was feeling quite individual. Every other guy had come in black. Plain, boring, dull black. James was in blue, and it made all the difference. He, for the first time, was turning heads, and not because of how bad he looked. He strode suavely over to his friends with a smile on his face that commanded his body to be at it's best. He was being respected and he was feeling proud. Then the inevitable happened; he tripped. Over nothing apparently, he flew through the air (but here is where he really redeemed himself); he landed on the palms of his hands and did a front flip, twisted in mid air, landed on his feet and did a back flip landing neatly facing everyone. His eyes fell to rest on one particular individual. Mark.

They never really got along with each other. James was always open and willing to get along with anyone. He'd be nice and see how the people acted. Mark was popular and he knew it. He was on of the "it" people that don't care what happens so long as they remain popular. James had tried being friendly but gave up when he heard the snide comments. No, James just didn't involve himself in any way or form. The fact that Mark had got onto the school council had made his ego even bigger.

Currently his face was a picture; James was meant to have fallen over and looked stupid, not made an entrance. James smiled sycophantically at Mark and turned to his friends. Sara clapped and gave James a hello hug, James then proceeded to hug just about everyone and have many photo's taken. He finally got to the bar and ordered a pint of Murphy's.

"Impressive entrance" came the voice from beside him

"Oh thank you" James said as he turned and realised who it was. "You look gorgeous"

"Thanks, you're looking might suave too". James gave Kate a look as if to say "Oh come on!"

"No really" Kate continued "You really do!"

"Your hair's amazing, give us a twirl" their conversation continued as the rest of the room gradually got intoxicated.

Michelle and Liz were in the toilet together. No not in the toilet together! They were sorting hair and makeup. They were also talking about a their favourite past time. Men. They both had boyfriends but were now ready for a change. They knew that relationships in school didn't tend to work and that everyone else seems more interested in you than in themselves. This didn't bother them they were still talent spotting.

At this point I'm not going to revel further who they were after but I may do so later.

Everyone had just been called for the meal and were filtering through the doors and towards their seats. James couldn't believe whom he was with. Mainly the dregs of society, saved only by the graces of himself, Liz and Paul. If you drew a line from one of each of the three people I just mentioned you'd get a triangle. It shall be referred to the "triangle of the looks" as it was used to send all sorts of messages to the three points just by a single, encompassing look.

The starter was already laid out and James first look was one of "Would you like mine?" and it was aimed at Liz who had the same look.

"Don't you want that?" said the voice next to James. It was Alex Orchard (who will be referred to as "Thicket").

"No, no you can have it" James answered politely as his fruit cocktail vanished from beneath his nose. Liz smiled and let Thomas Muhely take hers (he shall be referred to as "The Mule"). Paul just left his to the demons of fate praying that they'd arrive soon and take away the pain. They did, but they were demons cunningly disguised as waiters and waitresses.

The second course came. It was a course because the more you unravelled the meat the more there was. The staff were clearly intent of making sure you were unable to move from your seat for a very long time.

Finally the pudding came.

This was the best bit.

Chocolate. What more needs to be said. It was chocolate, James, Paul and Liz instantly forgot about everything that could happen and concentrated on making sure that they got as much as they could. Even the scandal of the next table pinching their helium balloons faded into the mists of the back of their minds. There was, however, a problem, those little pastry things with cream in. James loathed cream, almost as much as he did physics. He scraped them clean of chocolate and gave them to the atomic dustbin that was Thicket. He woofed them down whole and James got back to his chocolate sauce.

There were some brief speeches and toasts (in English and Spanish) and then the music started. This was where James started to perk up. He loved dancing and everyone else knew that after the incidents at Chrich. Quite a few people fled in the general direction of the bar. Well I say a few, it was more like an exodus, or the hoards fleeing before The Beresford came to blither at them. I shall now explain…

There is this person at the school that this story features that makes people run and scream in terror at the mere mention of his name. His name is Mark Beresford. He is the person that inflicts himself on anyone that he can. He gets drunk quickly, and falls over and headbutts the wall. His words are incomprehensible and you really need a translator to help you. I shall let you see for yourselves as the story progresses.

Anyway, where was I leading you, ah yes, upstairs, no, not there, sorry, wrong person, Ahem. You go down that passage, at the end turn left, follow the monkey until you get to the bus stop, get the 29 to the Banana, if you get to the spoon you've gone too far (but remember, there is no spoon), get the cat, use it to open the tree and you've finished the level.

About a third of them got drinks, the rest had to wait, until, of course, they got talking, then drinks didn't matter.

The night moved on and by now the dance floor was packed. People were falling over balloons, but that was another matter. The poor foolish DJ played YMCA and, of course, Thicket started "dancing". It was a bit like timed rigamortis, the actions were stiff and forced at as greater speed as could be possible attained with mere mortal limbs. It was now that things got interesting.

Suddenly there was an almighty great roar from the general direction of Liz. James hastily clambered over chairs, handbags, tables and Paul. Excuse me, Paul. What was he doing there? He was lying on the floor with a steak through his heart, blood everywhere. James panicked slightly.

"What's the fishcake has happened" he let fall out of his mouth. James admired his own control of his language.

"I kinda stabbed him with the steak" Liz spoke softly, guiltily.

"Why"

"I thought he was a vampire!"

"…and is he?"

"Well no" Liz looked disappointed "Is he alive". Paul was motionless.

"Well of course he bloody is" James was quite pissed off. "If you stab a normal person, through the heart, with a steak they don't tend to die…" Paul opened an eye at this point. James continued "…and even if he was a vampire it should have been a wooden steak not a piece of meat! Where'd all the blood come from"

Liz owned up "Well I ordered a raw steak, I forgot to mention the wooden part". James looked confused, that much blood didn't come from one steak, he looked at Liz and waited.

"Well, I did add some for effect, it wouldn't have been so spectacular with only a splash of blood"

"Who's gonna clean it up?!" James screamed accusingly.

"It already has" said Michelle who was currently looking very proud of herself.

The small group of friends looked to Michelle who’d sneaked up on them. James looked from Michelle to the floor and back again; the carpet was clean and Michelle had a little dribble of red on her chin.

"Err, Shelly, you’ve spilt a bit" Sophia was the only one brave, sorry, stupid enough to point this out.

"WHAT!" Michelle screamed grabbing the nearest mirror. She moved it urgently and then realised that she had no reflection. "Bugger". At this point a good 50% of the room grew larger teeth, this would have been fine but the minor point that these mouths were currently joined to others caused quite a large response. An audible chewing sound came just before the almighty unified scream.

If this were a film then there'd be a shot of the moon in a perfectly clear night sky. This was currently the case but nobody was admiring it. If they had been then they would have seen "it". "it" was heading to a little, insignificant galaxy feeling very hungry indeed. It had spotted this particular solar system and it looked rather tasty (NOTE: not tasteful!). It had nine planets, variety (this meant balance for healthy eating) and a nice self-sustaining, always flaming ball of gas for desert.

The number of vampires in the room grew exponentially for the next few minutes and James hovered gracefully with Sara above the pandemonium that the Summer Ball had mutated quite impressively into. Between them they kept the doors locked, nobody came in and nobody left; soon the chaos ground to a halt. People stopped biting each other as the realised that they were all "turned" (whether they were turned on or off is a different matter). Gradually their collective attention turned to the two beings sat cross-legged in the air.

"That’s just not fair!" came the obvious argument from Roxanne.

James couldn’t resist the reply "You’re vampires, you fly!" this clicked into place with a few of the mindless drones and then a few seconds later it clunked with the rest. As a few found their way into the air James and Sara looked at each other and nodded, silver wings sprouted from their backs and halo’s pinged into existence above their heads. The drones looked alarmed and started to sink back to the floors, the ones who hadn’t made it to the air edged nervously toward the doors.

A strange glow emanated from James and Sara, and then, suddenly, the entire hotel disappeared along with the vampires. The other people that had been staying there disappeared too, only they found themselves doing something else that, to them, was perfectly justified as opposed to an eternity of flaming pain.

The edge of the glow hadn’t quite cleared and a slight look of horror glanced over the two angel’s faces.

"Oops?" said the Angel Sara.

"Oops!" said the Angel James.

The glow expanded and then the world disappeared.

"We’re in for it this time!" said the female voice.

"You said that when we accidentally eradicated the haddock!" said the male voice peevishly.

"Yeah but how we’re we supposed to know that they’d evolve into lawyers!" replied the female voice.

"YOU TWO AGAIN!" said the deep and powerful male voice.

"Err, hehe, hi" said the female voice nervously.

"WELL, WHAT THIS TIME? WHAT’S GONE? BIRDS? TREES? NO, NO DON’T TELL ME, THE ENTIRE PLANET!" the voice was being sarcastic.

"Funny you should say that…" the smaller male voice began.

"NO MORE, I’VE HAD ENOUGH. YOU’RE GOING BACK AND BEING MORTAL; FROM THE START" the voice was annoyed.

"OK, but can I make a request?" said the female voice, not knowing when to stop.

"GO ON THEN!"

"Can we start from where we left off, we had a good life going then and it would be too boring for the author and readers if it ended here! The plot…"

"WHAT PLOT?" the voice interrupted.

"…oh there is one, you’ve just not spotted it yet. Can we please, but no vampires, that’s just so passé!" the female voice knew these things.

"OH VERY WELL. WHAT DO YOU MEAN PASSE? I THOUGHT THEY NEVER WENT OUT OF FASHION, LIKE THOSE FLARES GOOD OLD SUNTAN GOT ME" the voice was feeling out of date.

"Thank you, and I think Satan was taking the pi…"

"MICKEY. She was taking the mickey" the male voice interrupted abruptly and elbowed the female voice in the ribs.

"it" had stopped. "it" was having a temper tantrum! There were nine planets but now only 8 and that would never do! "it" had decided that "it" wanted nine planets and that's what "it" was going to get. It looked round and headed off in a completely different direction.

After further discussion the powerful voice waved a proverbial hand and Earth came into being, almost as true as the last one, however memory wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Sure enough the basics were still, well basic (the trees still grew in the direction of the sky, the grass was still green, bananas were still yellow and bad hair days still ruled lives across the planet) but there were a few discrepancies.

James and Sara landed on something soft and bouncy. James carefully opened his eyes. They had both plummeted a great distance and somehow managed to land on a bouncy castle. They decided to bounce for a while before living normal lives; three days later the bouncy castle burst and they decided that this was the best time to make a hasty exit.

Once again it was time for the Summer Ball, with only a few hours of preparation time left to go James and Sara were beginning to panic. They had nothing; no money, no transport and, most importantly of all, no powers.

It was when all seemed to be lost that James remembered what he had done after the last "incident" that involved the alien, the cake, the President of the United States of America and 50,000 banana shaped hair-dryers. He grabbed Sara and dragged her through the middle of Chesterfield.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sara wheezed trying hard to keep up.

"You’ll see" he gasped back trying not to waste any more time.

They came across a pretty standard looking box with a note attached to it saying

"Feel free to touch, open, jump on, clear away, detonate or take

this box home.

Thanks

Someone Good"

Sara stared at the box. She’d never seen a box talk before.

"What the hell is that?" she was too tired to vary her sentence structure.

"This, dear girl, is all we need" James announced triumphantly.

"Oh, you got me chocolate, how sweet" Sara was feeling very flattered until James snapped

"It’s not chocolate!"

Sara looked disappointed and started to sulk, then her face brightened again.

"It’s Taboo isn’t it!"

"NO!"

"Well I don’t want it then!"

"Come on!" James grabbed her arm and dragged her up a small alley. He opened the box without hesitation and there was a flash of bright light followed by a groovy spectral effect. James and Sara glowed for a few seconds after the light show faded. There was a series of pops and the two mere mortals sprouted wings and halos once again. James was looking quite smug as he stretched his new wings; Sara just looked horrified.

"You kept that spell, in a box, in sight of the entire population of the planet! Anyone could have used it!" her face was more genuine than ever, it looked as if it had found its vocation.

"No, they would never had touched it" James straightened his halo.

"Why not, you had a sign telling them to!" Sara was feeling exasperated.

James just looked at Sara waiting for the penny to drop. By the time James continued the penny of miscomprehension had become a fully-fledged £50.00 note.

"Look, Sara, if I’d’ve said, "Do not touch. Highly powerful magic contained within" you could only imagine who’d have the powers now!"

Sara gave up "Yeah ok. Let’s go!".